....and no I don't mean that to mean "Funny" update. I just updated six pages of a letter I wrote. Yes, this is how I write my letters, get used to it, cause I'm going to start posting them online now! Woo!

So today was rough. I've been all moved in for a month now, and for the first time I'm questioning whether or not I will succeed. That's a BIG thing. For people who don't know me, I am a super super confident person, and for me to be questioning something is a big deal. Mostly I blame it on my teacher, cause why would I want to blame it on myself right? He was talking about how hard it is to get going in the animation industry, and I came in knowing that, but then he went on to say that all the people from CalArts always get the jobs first, and that we have to fight for what's left after they've taken them all. CalArts? REALLY? That was the school I wanted to go to until last summer. I talked with my cousin, changed my mind, and didn't even bother sending in a an application this year now that my portfolio is much more diverse (I had sent one in two years ago and gotten rejected based on a simple portfolio). And now my teacher is making me feel like an idiot for not trying again. The dear isn't doing it on purpose, he has no idea that I did it all before. But now I'm freaking out cause you know what? I should have tried again! If I had gotten in I wouldn't have had to move out of state, I'd be living in Southern California, and I would feel like I was accomplishing something. Not like I don't here. I love all the work I do here and think that I am dishing out some pretty awesome stuff.....but man. I feel lame for not even TRYING to get into the place that's supposed to be the best.

But that's just me stressing over the fact that when I'm done here, no matter where I graduate from, I'll have a hard time getting a job in the field I want. Supposedly CalArts gets all the good ones, but if I work my butt off as hard as they do, but instead do it from up here, then I'll be a one woman contender all on my own. Just need a confidence boost first....

Hence the update! I'm always so happy to hear what people say about my stuff when I finally get around to posting it, and soon I hope to be posting much more. The same teacher that made me feel like a loser also gave some good advice. The really good people can dish out pictures likes there's no manana. So prolly starting next week (after finals) I am going to try and do 50 sketches a day.... after I get good at that bump it up to 100. So on and so forth. it'll be easier the more I do it, and maybe it'll help me get a jump start on my story, which would be amazing!

Practice makes perfect! Or at least, in my case, a machine that can dish out picture after picture after picture. That's my goal! BECOME A MACHINE like Ub Iwerks and Winsor McKay!! A MACHINE!

*Pant pant pant pant* .......Okay. Now that the rant has been completed, it's time for me to work on these promises by!..... finishing my homework >.<